The world has a tendency to crowd in around us and drain the life out of us. And sometimes in life things just don’t go right and we find ourselves in a period of drought and our faith is tested. Even if we try our best to flee from problems they seem to follow us. The world is relentless and our adversary is a wave of destruction that crashes upon the rocks of our shores slowly eroding our strength away.

I was in a place consumed by sorrow and pain and I could not shake the restlessness in my heart. I felt as though I was dragging around a hundred ball and chains and they were attached every part of my body and my soul had been sucked out of me and I was an empty shell just going through the motions. I could not raise my eyes to even look at the horizon for I could not see past the hurt that was right in front of me.

During this dark time of trials I was doing everything I could to hold on to the only thing I had left—my faith. With all the turmoil in my soul and the never ending sensation of being impaled by a flag pole, my faith was slipping and I was trying to hold on so hard that my fingertips were turning white and I was gritting my teeth with every last ounce of strength I could.

It was in this place of brokenness with completely empty hands and I was crawling toward God with the hope of being able to stand some day. I did not feel like I had anything to give and I was longing for God to take this sorrow and heartache and give me peace. All I wanted was to have even the smallest fraction of joy that had been drained from me.

As I kept crawling toward God in my decrepit state and held out my hands and I found the power of his grace and his love sustaining me in the wilderness. What began as the smallest ounce of strength was enough to help me endure my suffering. As I waited for the deliverance of the Lord, I realized that I was waiting for what was already happening. God was healing me and rebuilding my heart slowly…piece by piece. It was not what I wanted because I desired to be saved from all my pain but God was using the pain to make me stronger and to help teach me the greater depths of his love and power that flows through me.

When I was weak and lost, I was brought to my knees holding my hands toward the heavens. But God heard my cry and slowly—as slow as the snow melts in winter—he comforted my spirit and raised me up to life again. I will never forget how I found the strength of the Lord in unexpected ways and in times when I needed him most but he seemed to not answer. In all that I endured, I gave everything I had to remain trusting God that he would come to my rescue someday…somehow…and I was not disappointed.

“So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
What if heartache still remains,
I’ll trust you, my God I’ll trust you.”

Psalm 107:4-9 ESV
Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to a city to dwell in;
hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way
till they reached a city to dwell in.
Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.